Things to consider before buying an engagement ring?
So you have stumbled your way across this post (or this whole ‘marriage series’ of tips), or perhaps your girl has sent you the direct link and by doing this, a not-so-subtle hint?!
Not only is it generally one of the largest purchases a person will make – it’s typically one that’s made by millennial males who have no idea what they’re doing. And this can be a bewildering process. Where do you start? How do you get it right? How do you choose the right piece?
Read on and hopefully we can help you get clear.
(Disclaimer: For the purpose of this blog post, I will refer to the receive as a ‘she’ as we currently only sell women’s rings. Our intention is to always be inclusive, so this information can be applied and useful for all sexes and relationships).
Allow us to virtually assist you and break this decision down…. exploring all aspects so that your decision (and the ring you buy) is considered and extra intentional.
When choosing an engagement, commitment or ANY ring (extended to all pieces of jewellery) for your partner, consider : WHO IS SHE AS A PERSON?
- What style of jewellery does she currently wear? Notice her cherished possessions. Are they simple and delicate? Or are they more bulky and bold? Consider her style… If you are stumped and she isn’t traditional, perhaps consider proposing with a ‘cute’ replacement and then shopping together.
- What are the colours that she gravitates too? Does she have a ‘unique’ fashion sense, gravitating towards bright colours or does she wear more neutral tones.
- What type of lifestyle does she lead? This is a ring she will wear for the rest of her life, daily. So you want to choose a ring that suits her way of life. Ie. If she is extremely active, a huge prong set stone that sits high from the finger will be annoying as it may get caught, so she would be removing it frequently. You are better off choosing a bezel set (terms defined here) that is more low profile.
- What does she value? Intention over size of stone. Is she low key or flashy? This will help you to determine whether a giant diamond might be a better choice than a moonstone or aquamarine. We are biased around here… you can read about this here.
- Sentimentality? Would she prefer a family members vintage ring that represents your / her heritage over something brand new? If yes, explore this option. Or, you can always have vintage pieces remade so that it still signifies the past, yet it is also a new and more modernised piece.
- Vintage? Pre-loved is always an option for the eco-conscious gal.
- Budget: dollar value is irrelevant – if you find the perfect ring at a more affordable price, winning! Spend that money on your wedding, or a trip, or a house. More here
- The four C’s: cut, carat, colour, clarity (really only relevant for diamonds).
- Metal choice: what is her everyday metal choice? (yellow gold, rose gold or white gold?)
- Stone choice: get creative! But also be aware of the durability of the stone you choose. More here
- Forget popularity: it is about what she wants and what works within your budget. The gesture, the commitment is the real ‘diamond’. The ring – is just the physical representation of this commitment.
- Sizing: Ring sizing is not an exact science. It depends so much on the shape of one’s fingers, how someone likes to wear their rings, the width of the ring, and so on. More detailed information on how to purchase the right size here
- Get Help: from her best friend, mother, or sibling — someone she may have discussed her preferences with — if you’re not already sure about what sort of ring she wants.
Alternative stones (with a couple of words to describe the meaning of each) :
- Aquamarine: Clear Communication, Consciousness, Courage, Divine Feminine, Soothing, Calming.
- Citrine: Manifestation, Personal Will, Creativity, Abundance, Imagination.
- Emerald: Love, Compassion, Healing, Abundance.
- Garnet: Prosperity, Regeneration, Nourishment, Devotion.
- Green Tourmaline: Healing, Strength, Vitality, Wholeness.
- Kyanite: Intuition, Empathy, Telepathy, Connection.
- Moonstone: Cycles, Inner Peace, Harmony, Energetic Protection.
- Morganite: Heart, Compassion, Divine Love, Emotional Healing, Peace.
- Opal: Awareness, Purification, Emotional Amplification, Joy.
- Rose Quartz: Unconditional Love, Gentleness, Emotional Healing.
- Sapphire: Awareness, Discipline, Wisdom, Communication.
- Tanzanite: Trust, Wisdom, Insight, Compassion.
“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it’s these things I’d believe in… I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, on wife Zelda
The Violet Gray team are always here to help, so you can email us if you need clarification or guidance.
Romance, well, it is our favourite!
Especially when we know first hand how much JOY jewellery brings to a woman’s life.