Engagement Ring Guidance


“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect.

And it’s these things I’d believe in… I love her and it is the beginning of everything.”

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, on wife Zelda


Engagement Ring Process


So you have stumbled your way onto this page, or perhaps your partner has sent you the direct link and by doing this, a not-so-subtle hint?!

Well, rest assured, you are in good hands.

Purchasing an engagement or commitment ring ~ not only is it generally one of the largest purchases a person will make, it is typically one that’s made by millennial males who feel way out of their depth.

( Keep reading guys, we are here to make this easy! )

Buying an engagement ring online can be a bewildering process.


Where do you start?

How do you get it right?

How do you choose the right piece?


Hopefully we can help you get a little more clear.


Disclaimer: For the purpose of this information, I will refer to the receiver as a ‘she’ as we currently specialise in women’s rings. We do create Men’s rings upon request. Visit our BESPOKE section.

Our intention is to always be inclusive, so this information can be applied and useful for all sexes and relationships.


Allow us to virtually assist you and break this decision down…. exploring all aspects and highlighting some important things to consider so that your decision (and the ring you purchase) is considered and extra intentional.

When choosing an engagement / commitment or sentimental ring (extended to all pieces of jewellery and purposes) for your partner firstly, think about:




What style of jewellery does she wear? 

Take notice of her cherished possessions.

Are they simple and delicate?

Or are they more bulky and bold?

Consider her style… If you are stumped and she isn’t traditional, perhaps consider proposing with a ‘sweet’ replacement or gesture and then shopping together for the final ‘forever’ piece.


What are the colours that she gravitates too?

Does she have a ‘unique’ fashion sense gravitating towards bright colours or does she wear more neutral or pastel / softer tones?

Pay attention to her colours.


What type of lifestyle does she lead?

This is a ring she will wear for the rest of her life, daily. So you want to choose a ring that suits her way of life.

Ie. If she is extremely active, a huge stone that is prong set and sits high from the finger will be annoying as it may get caught, so she would be removing it frequently.

If this is the case, you are potentially better off choosing a bezel set ring design (terms defined here) that is more low profile and to the hand.


What does she value?

Intention over size / price of stone?

Is she low key or a little more flashy?

This will help you to determine whether a giant Diamond might be a better choice than a Sapphire or Zircon.

We are a little biased around here… you can read about this here



Would she prefer a family members vintage ring that represents your / her heritage over something brand new?

If yes, explore this option. Or, you can always have vintage pieces remade so that it still signifies the past, yet it is also a new and more modernised piece.

We work with customer supplied stones, just reach out via our BESPOKE form to start the process.

A pre-loved or vintage piece could also be a great option for the eco-conscious gal.


Engagement Ring Process

Ring Box, Online Jewellery




BUDGET:  we feel that dollar value is irrelevant – meaning, if you find the perfect ring at a more affordable price, winning! Spend that money on your wedding, or a trip, or a house. More on our views about that here.


THE FOUR C’s: means the cut, carat, colour and clarity of the stone (really only relevant for Diamonds).


METAL:  what is her everyday metal choice? (yellow gold, rose gold, white gold or platinum?)


STONEget creative! But also be aware of the durability of the stone you choose. More on this here.


FORGET POPULARITY:  it is about what she wants and what works within your budget. The gesture, the commitment is the real ‘Diamond’. The ring is just the physical (and beautiful) representation of this very important decision.


SIZING: ring sizing is not an exact science. It depends so much on the shape of one’s fingers, how someone likes to wear their rings, the width of the ring, and so on.

We have curated more detailed information on how to purchase the right ring size is here.


GET HELP:  from her best friend, mother, or sibling — someone she may have discussed her preferences with — if you’re not already sure about what sort of ring she wants.


The Violet Gray team are always here to help, so you can email us if you need clarification or guidance.

We offer a forever growing selection of gemstone rings and wedding bands online, or we can create a BESPOKE piece together.

Romance, well, it is our favourite!

Especially when we know first hand how much JOY jewellery brings to a woman’s life.


Have questions? 

Email [email protected]